Morbid Mia

We are all dying. Each day that passes brings us one day closer to the day of our death. There is no getting around that fact, though I don’t stop to contemplate that reality anywhere near often enough. Many days go by taken for granted, wasted doing things that aren’t important enough to recall. Some days, however, especially working as a nurse, all illusions and fantasies that suggest that death is far away in some distant unknown future are torn painfully away and I am left feeling intensely and deeply just how temporary life is. Last night was one of those shifts.

As sad as it sounds, I actually feel lighter during these times. The change in perspective can clear away petty worries.

At times, I struggle to remember to savor each day as if it were my last. The next few hours, at least, will be appreciated more – closer to their worth – until I start busying my mind with the mundane again. Though everyday moments can be pretty amazing, too, when they’re fully experienced. That will be my goal today. Well, that will be my goal when I wake up, hopefully after having gotten a full 8 hours of sleep post-night-shift. See what night shifts can do to your thinking? :-) Okay, I'm not sure how much I can blame on my work schedule.

Mia 5/20/04