Saturday, August 07, 2004

The Four Things

I really need to create a list of links on this page. There are so many excellent resources out there for supporting people and families through end of life. And so many of them include tips that we could all use in our daily lives. For instance, this one: The Four Things That Matter Most

This site is based on a book by Ira Byock, MD. I haven't read the book, but have definitely heard references to these four phrases before. In hospice work, when not referencing the four tasks of living and dying, these four phrases are often referred to:

1. Please forgive me.
2. I forgive you.
3. Thank you.
4. I love you.

The phrases kind of overlap with the four tasks (which include forgiveness and acknowledging successes).

"Even as people confront death (their own or others'), they can reach out to express love, gratitude and forgiveness. When they do, they consistently find that they - and everyone involved - are transformed for the rest of their life, whether those lives last for decades or just days."


Jennynyc said...

Great links! What do you think of the Hemlock Society (Are you familiar with it?). My grandmother who died of lung cancer when I was in college was a member of it.

Nurse Mia said...

I am in full support of dignity at the end of life, as advocated for by the Hemlock Society (now known as End of Life Choices). There are times when hastening death is the most compassionate choice. However all of the concerns that are leading the terminally ill to wish to take their own life must be revealed and attempted to be addressed by other means. Often when these fears are confronted and alleviated, the desire to leave this life more quickly dissipates. However, there are cases when this is not true, particularly with especially debilitating diseases, such as ALS. This is a great question and I will write a longer response as a separate posting at a later date.

Jennynyc said...

Thanks. The change in name sounds better!